This is it.

Who knew that 5 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. It's amazing to look back and read things that pointed to it. I'm so glad that God is more patient than I am. He's so right with his timing and planning. Thank you, Lord. You're the best!

PS-If ANYONE still reads this...I'll tell you who it is that I am talking about.

Fun in the sun?!?

Hello. Had my first "vacation" in 3 years this past week. It was good and bad. The first 2 days were spectacular. Panama City Beach can be a very relaxing place. Until people bring their drama with them. You really learn alot about people on vacation. Some people just aren't mature enough to just go and relax on the beach. All in all I had a relaxing and thought provoking trip.

I'm moving into the BCM tomorrow. It's really made my trip to the UK more real. This is the last place I'll move before the "big" move in 4 months. I can't tell you how ready I am.

To be honest there are people that I can't wait to leave. That may be bad, but it's true. Congrats to some of you, you aren't the people I used to care for anymore.

I'm emotionally spent. That usually means that I went home to Atlanta. It was a good trip but it's always so taxing. It's getting better, but not enough to have hassle free trips.

I'm scattered and a bit lonely. But there is always tomorrow. Off to surf some more and eat.

-Robert

The end of an era....

Just wrote a long detailed post that was lost by the Internet. Dang you Al Gore and your cursed Internet.... PS-Who reads my blog, I'm convinced it's me, Stella and Karen.

Ok, I'll try this again. Yesterday was our Banquet/Formal at the BCM. It was very bittersweet. We honored our secretary of 25 years, Mrs. Joyce. She is the rock that holds the BCM together. It was a well deserved honor. After that I shook my groove thang for a couple hours. I'm a horrible dancer. I know this. It's not that hard to see. But I have a blast dancing. You see, for 24 years of my life I didn't like to dance. But over the past year I've found the joy of dancing. It's great. Boy did I dance last night. Check out my facebook profile if you want to see me in action. (WARNING: The whiteness of my dancing has been linked to people laughing hysterically)

As the last song played last night (Closing Time-by Semisonic??) I was beset by a wave of emotions. They ranged from happiness to a bittersweet kind of closure. After 3 years of trips to Cecils, softball, SPOTS trips and everything in between, my time here at JSU is rapidly coming to an end. I've made some lasting friendships, visited some really cool places, and grown exponentially as a person in my 3 years at the BCM. The first formal I attended was very different for me. I didn't know many people and I was a bit shy (comparatively speaking). I wasn't completely sold on JSU yet. I actually had thoughts of leaving and returning home and enrolling at the local University. To come full circle at this place, to have such a strong emotional tie to this place is very bittersweet. To know that in about 6 months I'm going to start over is very....daunting. I finally settled in here. It makes me appreciate what I have now, and more importantly how rare what I have is. To all of you BCM'ers that read this thanks for the past 3 years. I'm a better person because of your influence in my life.

As I write this I'm packing for what will be my last official BCM trip. The new student leadership team and I are going to LTC (Leadership Training Conference) at Shocco Springs. I look forward to how the end of my BCM era ends....

-Robert

Katrina relief

So it's been a while since I've written. It's been a while on purpose. I've needed time away from things and "the world" to gain perspective on my life and future. I've started my interview with ICY and I'm really excited about how the prospect of me leaving for England/Wales is coming together. It's starting to really materialize in my head and heart that I'll most likely be leaving the country for 3 years. If I only knew exactly where I was going....

So for Spring break I went to the Gulf Coast to help with Hurricane Katrina relief. There are no words for the experience of the last week. The fact that I was in another country during the bulk of the Katrina disaster only enhanced the emotions of the week. I was in charge of a team that cleaned out an 89 year old man's water rotted possessions. I'll try to describe the amount of stuff this guy had and how "nasty" it was, but I'm not sure if I can. I took a crew of 11 people working from 8:30am-4:30 ish for 3 days, plus 24 people working on Thursday from 8-5 to haul off all of his junk. If you add it up that's 489 man hours of work on this man's house. Believe me, it took every one of those hours for us to complete the task. I don't know if I've ever worked so hard in my life. Plus the stench of the stuff decomposing was HORRIBLE. There was a jar of pickle juice that was at least 20 years old. It was the worst smelling stuff ever to grace my nostrils. To see someone so overwhelmed that people would give up their time and drive 400 miles just to help him was amazing. He was the sweetest man and you could tell he was happy to be relieved of this burden. I guess the emotion of the week hit me on Wednesday. After dinner I read through a book of pictures of the Katrina disaster. The local newspaper put together a series of these books that were just amazing. The damage was on the scale of war torn areas that I had on;y seen on the news. Katrina didn't discriminate when she tore through the Gulf Coast. Black, white, rich or poor, the damage hit everyone. The pages that effected me the most were the ones about the volunteers that gave up MONTHS of their lives to help other people. One picture was forever burned into my mind. It was of two men crying and embracing each other. The caption said that they were NYC Firefighters that had given up a month of their time to do relief work on the coast. When asked why they did it they had a very simple and profound answer. "We're here because America helped NYC when we needed it, and now it's our turn to give." I broke down when I read those words. If only we'd act like this all the time rather than when a disaster comes, I think the world (and Church) would be a much better place.

I'm a changed person after this past week, and it's for the better. On to finish up ICY stuff and rest up the rest of my weekend.

Robert

Love Languages...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Words of Affirmation:		9
Acts of Service:		4
Quality Time:		4
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Fringes

FRINGES by Shane Barnard
He stretches out the north over empty space And hangs the earth on nothing And how faint a word we even hear of Him And yet – our eyes and ears and minds get all the candy

I sing for grace For grace it lets me sing And all I’ve ever seen or heard Or haven’t seen or heard It’s His There is no other

All of this is but the fringes

And these are but the fringes And all the world hinges On His grace and on His word It speaks things into being And the spoken things revealing The glory of our God and King

I’m stumbling upon things that aren’t mine Things he spoke to life before time Name one thing that’s not One law or thought He taught the clay Molded it Behold, He called the sheep That’s why they came Sheep! Who by grace get a peep And make it cheap by calling it mine

"Behold, these are the fringes of His ways; And how faint a word we hear of Him! But His mighty thunder, who can understand?" (Job 26:14)


How much of our lives to we really get? Do we really see and live in God's perspective of us? Or do we just live in the Fringes of what God wants and has for us? I know I'm scared to fully embrace what God has for me. It's scary because it's the unknown. Moving to a new continent is a struggle, but so is talking to that random person about my relationship with Jesus. But it's not just in sharing Jesus that we fail to understand the fullness of His plans and desires for us. He has a plan for you and I. A detailed and formulated plan that was devised before the foundations of this planet were laid. A plan to "prosper us." I challenge you (and myself) to quit living on the Fringes of what God has foe our lives. Dive in. "Taste and see that the Lord is good!"

Obviously God is working on me right now. I have many things that are burdening me, but I'm trying to take hold of the promises that I've been given. promises that tell me that if I have faith God will bless that faith. I have another job I may take here at JSU. It's an intern position for the semester. The campus minister here at JSU is taking a leave of absence, and I'll be filling in for him. Please pray for me as I take this position. More importantly, pray for him and his family. They need your prayers desperately. Good start to the week. Let's see how this one's gonna go...

Robert

All better

So I feel better now. I needed to have some things work themselves out, and they did. I still have some issues to work out, but I'm much better now. I still don't feel like I'm all the way back to being myself, but I'm well on the way. Just letting you know,

Robert

Vacation

I need one. Our ski trip was great. Other than the skiing part. It was 50 degrees both days. The "snow" was slushy and that made it hard to control what you were doing on the black diamonds. But on the good side we had over 10 decisions for Christ. John Gillis did our retreat and he was fabulous as always. Good weekend.

But then I had to come home. I'm just in a place that right now I was to run from all of my problems and be on vacation for a month straight. Wake up because that can't happen. With all of the family stuff that I've dealt with I really needed for someone to break into my apartment while I was gone. I really didn't need my couch or my table and chairs. That's what was awaiting me on my return to Jacksonville Monday afternoon. This is all a test of some sort, but why or how this is going to help me I have no idea. I just need to process all of this and get in a good place with it. My couch isn't coming back and all I can do is work on getting another one. Oh well. I liked that couch, it had a fold out bed.

I'm just running on empty emotionally. I'm sure in a couple of days I'll be better. In fact, I'm sure of it. But right now I'm lonely and I want to whine a lot. I just need some me time by myself or with trusted friends. Thanks for listening. I'll be better next time I post.

Robert